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First Step to Wedding Planning: Breathe

First Step to Wedding Planning: Breathe

If you just got engaged and are feeling overwhelmed, this is the 3 part guide for you. I got engaged in 2013 and married in 2014. It’s a crazy process with too many options, too many possibilities, and too many expenses. This is a practical guide to give you advice based the the mistakes and lessons I learned while planning my wedding.

I will say that the single most important aspect of planning a wedding is knowing what you do and don’t want to focus on. Do you really love music and want to dance into the night or would you rather skip the DJ and focus on the decor? Some people want a spectacular wedding dress while others might want to spend more money on the food or venue. Whatever your preference, you need to get that settled with your fiance before moving on to looking at venues.

Questions to Get You Started

Once you’ve established what you want out of your wedding it will be much easier to budget based on the things you and your fiance see as priorities.

You and your fiance should both list the top 3 most important aspects of your ideal wedding. After you’ve done that share with each other.


  • The food
  • DJ
  • Venue
  • Location (close by or destination)
  • Time spent with wedding guests
  • Large wedding guest list
  • Expensive wedding dress/tux/suit
  • Large wedding party
  • Additional wedding events (rehearsal dinner, brunch the day after the wedding)
  • Decor/Flowers

If you both wrote down 3 things and nothing overlapped, that might be a problem. But in that case I’d say pick the top two from each of your lists and then agree on the 5th item that’s a priority.

Questions to ask & answer with you and your fiance before wedding planning:

  • What’s the best wedding you’ve ever attended. What about it did you like so much?
  • What’s the worst wedding you’ve ever attended. What didn’t you like about it?
Wedding Etiquette Can Kiss My Ass

Wedding Etiquette Can Kiss My Ass

Wedding Reception

I’m getting married. I’ve been engaged for almost 4 months now and in that time I feel like I’ve entered a new society with new social norms and rules I never knew existed. I’m excited to marry Kevin but the sheer volume of wedding etiquette and the “you need…”, “you have to…,” “you can’t…,” “you shouldn’t…,” “you must…”  of wedding planning feels more like peer pressure than advice.

Everyone says, “It’s your day. Do whatever you want” but then I see the looks on people’s faces or hear the tone of disappointment in their voices when I say I don’t want a wedding cake (I don’t like cake) or that I don’t want to spend money on a wedding dress unless I can wear it again. When I mention my lackadaisical attitude about my dress people then ask what I’m going to have Kevin wear. I’m supposed to pick out what Kevin wears? I don’t think so. He’s an adult. I think he can figure out what to wear to his own wedding. Somehow the fact that I trust my future husband enough to dress himself makes me seem like I don’t care enough about my wedding. It’s this type of backward nonsense that is making my head spin.

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